Would you like a Pint or a Schooner?

Dear Mr. Alcoholic
Thank you Mr Alcoholic for coming into my bar. I love it when you arrive five minutes before we close and you expect me to serve you for an additional 30 past close just because your special. It warms my heart when you leave me a four doller tip after spending a hundred dollers on beer and nachos for yourself. I am so pround of you when you can arrive at 3pm, exactly when I start my shift and you stay until I am done at 12am. It takes a real man to be able to drink non stop for nine hours straight. When you talk to me about your life I really care, for real I CARE. I am overjoyed by that fact that you sucked every last piece of meat from your buffalo wings. Please continue showing me those clean bones every time you accomplish this. Please don't forget to move around the whole bar and leave a cup on every table because I love following you around picking up after you. I am thrilled when you ask me (every time) to put a little extra alcohol into you drink. You need it and you ALWAYS put a little extra on my tip. I am impressed that you know how to make so many drinks, and yes I know I should learn how to make them as well. I will study and practice until I am as accomplished as you in the art of bartending. I have no problem starting happy hour, thirty minutes early and end it an hour later just because you are low on cash. I am counting the hours until we see each other again but until then have a great day.
Cheers to you
Your Tender of the Bar


Thanks to the Lone Coyote for the letter writing Idea